I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. ~Henry David Thoreau
People are sometimes classified as ‘introverts’ or ‘extroverts.’ Commonly confused with terms such as ‘shy’ and ‘outgoing,’ these two types of people are different in one quintessential way, and it has nothing to do with shyness or otherwise. Introverts generally find the company of other people rather draining and need time alone to ‘recharge’ and re-energize. Extroverts, on the other hand, find that the company of others gives them energy and makes them feel more alive.
As an introvert, I love to spend time alone. I am rarely happier than when I am pottering around on my own – walking, watching a movie, writing or just day dreaming. I enjoy the company of others but I do not need to be surrounded by lots of people.
For extroverts, being alone can be a more difficult experience – it can be depressing and bleak. But in the fast paced world we now inhabit, some time alone is important for all of us. Society tends to see being alone as a negative thing, but with a slight change of perspective, being alone can have many benefits.
You can feel at ease with yourself. Few of us are free from caring about the opinions of others, and we all put on something of an act when in company. Being alone is a time when we can be truly ourselves.
You are free from pressure. When other people are not around, we can evaluate things more objectively – or, at least, from our own vantage point. By freeing ourselves from the opinions of others, we can become clearer about what is really important to us and what our next course of action should be.
You are able to do what you really want. One of the things I love about being alone is that I can please myself – I can do whatever I like without having to worry about someone else’s desires and feelings. To some, this might sound selfish, but it is what the great writer Anthony de Mello might call ‘the proper kind of selfishness.’ It does no harm – in fact, it almost certainly helps your relationships, since …
You’ll appreciate the time you spend with others. When you do get to spend time with your spouse, your kids, your parents or friends, you will relish the experience.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that, whomever might be in our lives right now, they are not permanent fixtures. Some people – business contacts, clients, colleagues – will stay for a short while, and others – spouses, parents – will stay a lot longer. But in the end, we will be separated, and a recognition of this basic ‘aloneness’ we all share can be immensely liberated. All relationships pass. We are all ‘ships passing in the night.’
For the introverts among us, time alone is essential. But even for the most extroverted, time alone can have many benefits.
thanks for your comment, @Mike. I do think it is easier for introverts to be alone, and extroverts may struggle more with this. But it can be a beneficial practice for anyone.
This is not the most discussed topic, I really appreciate that you have contributed so much insights in this and successfully to explain difficult concepts in simple forms and make easier to understand.
Actually, I tend to be a quiet / introvert person but may not only consist of such category
as I really love to exchange the view of life or any other meaningful wisdoms with someone who also love sharing on this type of topic. In other words, I believe I am an active listener, as I love to learn the social history from the others. By doing so, I can learn a lot from their experiences and acquire the wisdom of coping with life. (However, I would choose silence if I find there is not the right time or proper place to share, especially there are some other people that I believe they are likely to spread rumors by adding his/her opinion…) This is the difference or more complicated than your suggestion but I couldn’t agree more with you that the benefits of being alone.
On the other hand, I don’t think we will be “separated” with those people you really care (e.g family members, relatives and friends) in the closing stage of your life. My belief is that we may come to the world aloneness and we will end up alone physically but not mentally / spiritually!
Before I graduated with my study in social work a couple of years ago, I had a few months social work placement in subvented elderly hostel. (Though I finally choose another profession instead of become a social worker because of my character) During the engagement period, Some elders are kind enough reminded me and shared their life wisdoms.
I found that the elders who are more likely to have positive thinking (to look back on their lives positively and happily, feeling fulfilled with a deep sense that life has meaning) are based on significant relationship with all mankind. In whatever way, to whatever extent. There lies acceptance — Accept things and life as they are.
In addition, they reminded and emphasized me that although the person dies, he/she will not be lost as well as the relationships but lives on in the memories of the living. It’s more easier and clearer to see this if you have share the same life value, experiences and a strong interaction with someone during the usual life experience.
Furthermore, their sharing always remind me the “Eight stage theory of human development” suggested by Erik Erikson. You may also interested and wish to learn more details by exploring this wonderful theory — a practical psychosocial development theory and one of my best life changing reading list that I am really appreciate and feel lucky to have an opportunity to learn it.
To overall, As an introvert, I prefer to believe “You are not alone at the end” even though it’s not the truth and it depends on individual life value.
Wish you all the best!!!