Do your fingers itch and reach for a keyboard or tab every time you hear the words “funding”, “strategy” or “immorality” mentioned anywhere, in any context whatsoever, but with the distinct potential of sparking a debate? Well, congratulations! You’re part of a (unfortunately) fast growing breed of Slactivists. Slacker and activist? It’s never been so easy. Some signs you’re definitely part of the clan:

1. You know all too well the burger bacha’s burden


It’s your mission in life to educate the uncouth, unaware and unenlightened.

2. Hamza Ali Abbasi is your Idol


His commentary on everything from the attire of actresses to the massacre in Rohingya to marriage-laws in the USA? MashaAllah.

3. You care more about hungry children in Somalia than next door


Well, the rest of the world was all for it…

4. You have a thing for words ending in –ist


Feminist, activist, idealist…mostly just absurdist.

5. You’re also a (pseudo-) intellectual and analyst


And you know more than all those balding political scientists, duh.

6. Your cause changes every few hours


7. Aalu Anday is your anthem


8. You can’t handle comments, criticism or opposition


Basically anything not totally laden with praise for you and your lofty ideals.

9. You have an opinion on everything


And the world absolutely MUST know what your take on nuclear proliferation in Uganda is.

10. You have weapons of mass communication at your disposal


Quick, put up the video of your Ice Bucket challenge; the actual donation can wait.

11. Your social media accounts are a mine of photoshopped propaganda and conspiracy theories


Check the authenticity before you share maybe?

12. You believe in moral absolutism


A quote by Hitler that is maybe not outright evil and may have a good thought behind it? Haraaam.

13. You can’t believe it when someone dares disagree with you


Kaafir, Liberal, Misogynist, enemy of free speech…if the shoe doesn’t, you’ll make them wear a pair anyway!

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