Hospitality is an extremely important part of Pakistani society and culture, and oh how you wish it weren’t! Every time you’re due to have some guests over, certain struggles ensue to make your antisocial self hate people more, if that’s even possible. Below are just a few of the events that occur when company decides to show up:
1. You’ll try your best to slip out of sight
2. You will invariably fail at said slipping out of sight
3. Hiding out in your room is suddenly a big no-no
Because how could you just greet these people you don’t know and get back to your own life like that?
4) ..this is the same room your ammi just made you clean from top to bottom
Are you planning on holding the gathering in my room?
5. There is enough food around the house to feed a small country
Probably because the number of guests will be enough to populate the said small country.
6. And you’re not allowed to touch ANY of the food before the guests arrive
Not even a little taste?
7. Which they will, 3 hours late
8. Your mother will refuse to believe the guests have gotten enough to eat
9. Plate-filling battles ensue
Nothing like force-fed love.
10. Meanwhile, your parents continue to warp the definition of “a good host”
Stay in the kitchen or at constant service, whoever heard of dinners being thrown for the company?
11. The guests will mention how they really should get going, every now and then
Because of course their departure has to be planned and discussed in considerable detail 2 hours prior to when they actually plan to leave.
12. And then they will spend an additional hour or two chatting on their way out
Really, aunty, is it absolutely essential to finish discussing your tailor issues at the door?
13. Meanwhile you’ll dig into ALL the leftovers
14. And congratulate yourself on a day well survived
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