Without doubt, this season got to be the worst time of the year. I observed behaviors of different people for a few weeks (indoor and outdoor) and here is what I learnt about how they are in summers:
1) Aunties who have spent their entire life in Pakistan, but you hear them complaining as if it is the first hot day in their life. How to spot them: They’ll be seen trying to fan themselves with their dupattay ka pal-loo. As if that will reduce the heat even a percent. Not to forget “Oh god yeh garmi.”
2) So you’re roaming in the marketplace and it is a hot day as usual. And suddenly some people pass by and this funny smell is in the air. Hell yeah, they are sweating and man they stink! Question to self: Are deodorants and perfumes out of stock?
3) Ever sneaked into the fridge to get a bottle of cold water out? Check your mother staring at you, ready to say “Saari botlein khaali kardo. Sham ko mat rona kay thanda paani nahin hai.” These ammi jees need to know that there’s no point to store water in the fridge if it is forbidden for people to drink that water.
4) “Haan haan chalaao AC. Bijli ka bill tou aata hee nahin hai. Din bhar bas nawabzaadon ki tarah AC ki hawa khao.” Raise your hand if you’ve heard this.
5) Oh yeah you know it’s summer when you spot kids out on the streets bald and shirtless.
6) So mom will tell you off every time you open the fridge’s door, and turn on the AC. Option left: take a shower. Did I say ‘a shower’? I meant take a shower every time you go to your room. Some moms will be like “Ub paani bhi khatam kardo saara.”
7) A girl passes by with her hair down and everybody turns around to look at her. They say “Itni garmi me bhi fashion purray hain.”
8) A relative calls you up and tells you there is no electricity at their place. Their next question “Tum logon ke haan light hai? Ye kia baat hui? Kab jayegi?” You put the phone down and the power goes. “#$&%&#!@#*$”
9) Temperature being told on TV and in the newspaper: 35 degrees Celsius. What people say: Jhoot boltay hain. Yaqeenan 45 degrees Celsius hai. Office me bethkar inhay khaak garmi mehsoos hoti hogi?
10) But this got to be the biggest indication to summer: lawn advertisements everywhere.